IF THIS POST MAKES NO SENSE YOU MUST NOT HAVE WATCHED THE DEBATE

so. joe the plumber.

I was interested last night in knowing exactly who this joe the plumber was. according to john mccain, this dude was on his way up, just getting past the next tax bracket, maybe hiring a few new employees a month, getting ready to outsource his business to India. I wonder if he was listening when john mccain called him out by name; whether he sat up in his armchair where he’d been parked since closing up the business at five. listening rapturously as john mccain fed him promises of endless wealth, like a man on a late-night infomercial – “my friends, all this can be yours, and more!” I wonder if joe plumber spilled his drink in getting up and yelling at the screen, “that’s right! it’s my money and I want it now!”

well joe, mccain cares about you. not all plumbers, but you, in particular. you are special. you represent this country in the most absurd way, a plumber who wears business suits, a man who’s worked his way up from fishing kids’ toys out of toilets to now hobnobbing with the likes of donald trump and warren buffet. you are a marvel of the American work ethic. and you deserve to keep all of your money.


but now this other guy is addressing joe the plumber. now joe is not exactly a millionaire, someone with an income of less than a quarter million, in fact. joe drives an old Subaru, lives in an aging gated community, and is married to a woman that once sold real estate, but is happy now to stay home and raise their three kids. she drives them to school in a Honda.

joe’s business is good but not amazing, so when this other guy starts addressing him during the debate he says, thank fucking god someone gets it. this person is actually talking to him, joe the plumber with a bit of credit still to pay back, whose company will never sell stock, who considers it a luxury if he can get away to a warm place once a year. joe does not have a group of associates in high places, has no connections to anything practical, really. he merely runs a company that unclogs underground tubes.

if there are two joe plumbers, this is the one that deserves a break.