1. being open has a lot to do with it. this quality of 'openness' is a hard one to define, but entails taking a basic risk: namely, admitting that you, like anyone else alive, have weaknesses and flaws, are essentially incomplete. this can be done in a zillion different unnameable ways, which everyone performs pretty much every day. if you want to be really inclusive about it you could say that every phone call is a risk - will the other person answer? will there be a connection? implicitly, you are saying, I want a call back. need is scary. every interaction is a potential risk.
2. understanding, the next step of openness; 'understanding' being that fundamental shift in the brain which allows it to recognize an emotion or sensation felt previously by the self, now being felt by the other. in theories on autism the phrase 'theory of mind' comes up a lot (an understatement - autism is sort of incomprehensible without this concept). can you grasp that another human being might potentially feel the same things as you, as a result of having the same hardwiring? and then, if you take into consideration that they have had different life experience, can you extend your theory of mind to include this new thought they might have? and understand it? this step, of course, takes the most work - to construct another brain, on top of the one you already have, could be a process that takes up an entire lifetime (e.g., trying to understand a parent or child), and still be incomplete.
3. can you, then, forgive the differences? can you actively extend yourself by acting with this understanding? and how is this done, exactly, besides not killing/harming other people? do you have to, after finally achieving their perspective, inhibit your own? act like them?
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